5 years ago
Friday, July 17, 2009
confused---HELP!!
Okay so I have been struggling lately with a big decision. My little brother and his wife are drug addicts and they have four kids the youngest is two months old, yes the same one I have been taking care of, My sister in law(man i hate calling her that) wants to give the baby up for adoption and I have a huge attachment to him since i have had him since he was two days old. however I feel that I am done having kids yet I feel guilty about that! I mentioned two other families that would adopt him and they wont give him to anyone but us, hopefully they will change there minds, I say they but i should say her my brother doesn't want to give the baby up. They know they cant take care of him and although nothing has been decided i am trying to get my ducks in a row and figure out how i feel. I love my freedom now that the twins are 3. i love to be able to go in my room and have quiet time but i feel guilty about that too. what if God punishes me by not letting me be successful in being a published author because I am being selfish. oh I don't know I am so confused and i wanted to get it off my chest. there is so much to this stupid drama and i just want to wash my hands of it...and guess what i feel guilty about that to!!! oh i just want to Bary my head in the ground and not ever come out!!
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3 comments:
Babe, you need a day of fasting and prayer and a trip to the temple. I feel like you have such a great burden on you with all of this family business. Man I have so many thoughts. The only reason you should ever feel guilty is if you have broken a commandment or are purposely not following a prompting- spiritual guidance- you receive. So if you haven't had a sure answer on this one then the guilt has got to be coming from the adversary. Heavenly Father has a plan for you. You stated that you would like to work on becoming a published author and you are ready to pursue that. I think that your family members have made chioces that have had negative consequences on themselves and their children. That is unfortunate, however, the Lord also has a plan for each of them (Brandon included). I don't think that you should believe you are the only opportunity Brandon has. Whatever decision you make, you'll have to stand your ground and his parents will have to respect that. So, I support you either way you go. This is a life-long committment. You could suggest they meet with Sis. Bobbie Turner at LDS Family Services. She is very good and can help lift some of the burden from you as she talks with them and assures them they are making the right decisions and best decision for Brandon. Well, I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. You need to get away for a little bit. Love ya! ~Audrey
I can't give any advice to you. I have never been in a situation like this, and I would be a fool to even try to advise you as what to do. But I can give you my support and love and hope. You are such a strong person.
You used to say that you felt as though there was one more spirit left that was supposed to come to your family, a little boy. Do you feel as though this baby is he, or has that particular feeling gone away?
I could write you a long post but I really think that both Audrey and Allison are right. You can not be held accountable for decions made by others. You said your says brother doesn't want to give up the baby, so that should give him a reason to get his stuff together, NOW. TODAY. or maybe even yesterday. If he's not really trying then I would guess it's because he is still in a selfish stage of his life. I'm not saying that is wrong, just that it's not your job to enable it.I love you YOU ARE AWESOME. You're a beautiful child of God and he is guideing and protecting you. Listen to the spirit and I know you will do the right thing for you and your family. Sorry I guess I did have a long post.
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